God? No it's just Madonna!

Next month is the month, besties! My favorite Goddess, Madonna is releasing her new Greatest Hits double cd collection titled Celebration (same as her new single produced by Paul Oakenfold)! I think I heard angels from above. Nope, it was Madonna. Even better news! There will be a DVD of her video collection! Double bonus! That old bitch loves us very much! Even better! Wait for it, besties! If you go to Madonna.com and view the news section, there is a track listing for the double cd compilation. The much buzzed about track Revolver (supposedly features L'il Wayne) is in the track listing. I CAN'T FUCKING WAIT. CD AND DVD DROPS IN THE US SEPTEMBER 29th. I will be going door to door with a shotgun that day urging everyone to buy it. So don't let me see you without a copy in your hands! Got me! Just joking! Love you, besties!! Here's a video of this delectable little treat.

Dear Heidi Montag,

Dear Heidi Montag,

I love your song Body Language! My other guilty pleasure is your song Overdosin'. However, I'm really sad right now! I haven't been able to listen to my ipod for days. Why, you wonder? Well, here's the truth and nothing but the truth so help that nun with the holey panties. I am still hiding underneath my covers after that embarassing "performance" (as you called it) at the Miss Universe pageant. What the FUCK!!!! My face was red during the entire painful display of lack of talent. Talk about giving bitches ammunition to publicly destroy you. My twelve year old sister and her friends from down the block could have done a better job with homemade props and costumes. I agree with Kristen Cavalari about watching a repeat of Britney Spears "comeback performance" at the VMA's. WHAT THE FUCK!! Well, I have to go now. I'm slowly suffocating underneath my blanket. I think my laptop is sucking up more oxygen from under here that I will eventually need to survive.

P.S.- You should really stick to Playboy. You have more talent laying on your back in a nude photo then you do when you make yourself stand up and pretend to dance. I know that was harsh, but we have to be harsh with those we love. Deuces!

Back to reality now that my inner teenager is done! For those of you who haven't seen. Here's the Heidi Montag disaster called a performance courtesy of youtube.

WHO HATES EXES? I DO!!!!! I DO!!!!!

I'm sure at some point we have all hated our ex-bf's or gf's ( I may be gay, but I'm into diversity!). I say people let's make 2010 the year to forgive. I have noticed that in my past I have never forgiven any of my exes. More times that not, I have taken that baggage into the next relationship; where that poor unsuspecting sucker has to pay for all of the exes crimes. In my proposal, I am going to forgive my ex; who just broke up with me last week; and we are going to try and be friends. I know it sounds sadistic and tormenting to one's ego(especially my ego). At some point we all need to grow up and realize that moving on makes us healthier. I can speak for myself when I say that people hate drama king's and queen's (you know who are people). In order to succesfully complete my version of therapy (yes my version), you are going to have to lay down some rules. These rules should consist of things that are vital to you maintaining your relationship as newly found friends. There is a plus side to this plan as well. You get to approve and disapprove the new potential suitors. YEAH! CONTROL!! SOUNDS AWESOME!! My chips are all in boys and gals.

Remember when this journey gets hard, reach deep inside yourself and drink that last drop of inner maturity. I trust my ex. He trusts me. In a way, he is kind of like my protector. That is how we are able to do this. On the other hand, if your ex has done something so unforgivable that you feel the need to mail him/her a pipe bomb; I'll turn my head and peak through my fingers! Good Luck, besties!